Advise about fighting the Cultural Differences In a
western -foreign family.
by Marina Smiley http://search4russianbride.com
(Published in Small World Ezine on 14 June 2004 -- with permission)
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their
partner not only a lover but a friend also. A person with
whom they can share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts
and fears. In marriage we are looking for a partner who will
be able to understand our values, our likes and dislikes.
If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same
country, most likely they are familiar with the same songs,
movies, jokes, books and life in general. They basically
have the same roots. In the case of a western man -foreign
woman family everything is more complicated and requires
much more patience and understanding from both spouses.
On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn
a great deal about the other's country, culture, traditions
and life styles which can be very interesting. On the other
hand it can be very disappointing, the inability to
understand your partner's excitements and, or frustrations.
For example, say you are watching the television and
suddenly you see a famous actor or singer, or other type of
an artist whose name you have grown up with. Maybe this
artist was an idol for your parents and the music of this
artist was often played in your house when you were a child.
Now seeing this singer on television reminded you about your
parents and house where you grew up in . You nostalgically
remembered the tree that you saw from your window. You feel
very light headed about this memory and want to share this
feeling with your foreign wife.
Unfortunately you realize that she is unable to understand
your feelings because she has no idea who this artist is.
Her eyes are absolutely empty, she has never even heard the
song before. You cannot believe it ! You tell her that this
artist is so famous! Everyone knows him! How it possible
that she doesn't know??? Your light feelings of nostalgic
disappear and instead you feel within your soul at very
large disappointment ...
Be patient! Don't become upset so quickly.
Remember that your wife has the same situation with you.
You don t know her country's songs, her country's famous
actors, her books. She has her own memories and in
actuality, for her, everything is much more difficult
than it is for you. At least, you live in your own country
where everybody can understand you. She lives in completely
strange surroundings, where she has nobody to share her
feelings with, except you.
Do some research and learn about your wife's country,
culture and lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions,
get to know what songs she likes, what movies and books
are of interest to her. The Internet will give you a great
opportunity to find anything! Tell her about your country's
culture, let her listen to the music that you like, rent a
movie for her that left you with great impression. Let her
understand you better through the things that you like.
Patience and time will help you to fight cultural
differences .
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Copyright 2004 International Soulmate
Marina Smiley is the author of some of the most popular
eBooks about Russian-Western marriages.
These eBooks are available through
http://search4russianbride.com
Get Your Free Newsletter The Naked Truth About Russian Women
mailto:russianbrides@getresponse.com
---------------------------------------------------------------
More:
Thank you, Marina! I know perfectly well how it feels. And
my husband is not even a Westerner!
I am Thai, married to a Filipino. The cable TV company in
the Philippines we subscribed used to have one Thai TV
channel until they adjusted the programs recently.
I wrote and called them almost everyday, begging to have my
Thai TV back... LOL... They didn't put it, though. They had
German, Japanese, Indian, French, Italian, Spanish, Korean,
Chinese,... But no Thai. Any reader from the Philippines
who can help me on this? Please?
Back from the vacation in Thailand this time I brought a lot
of VCD and books... Though the hubby does not know or care
about my favorite singer of 18 years, My little girl is
starting to sing his songs.
Earlier this year, Anita Mui, the Asian's favorite star
(Hong Kong) passed away of cancer. I almost cried to
see her funeral in CNN. All the fun 20-year-old memories
flashed back in my head. But the husband did not share the
moment. He had never heard of her. He does not know either
Thongchai McIntyre or Leslie Chueng. He does not know the
"Legend of the Condor Hero" or "Ramayana". Myths and
Folklores or proverbs are rarely mentioned in our home as
either of us understands those of the other's.
However, we can share what we have learned during our latest
7 years... We talked about the last Philippine Presidential
Election. We watch Deutche Welle's news together. We are
looking forward to seeing the next "Harry Potter". And
we've discussed the "Da Vinci Code".
I think we both just have to live the present and see the
best future for the family... Seeing conflicts as funny...
and not trying to be too literate... ha ha...
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